Monday, October 18, 2010

3 months today....

3 months ago today we said good bye to our precious Momma. And we will never be the same again.

About a year or so ago she told me that she was having stomach pains. Of course I said Momma you've got to get to the Dr's. She did....they did nothing, found nothing and sent her along her way. The pains came and went and started to get really bad around April. On Mother's Day of this year she drove herself to the ER. They gave her pain killers and told her to have a colonoscopy. She did and they told her she did a bad prep. Her pain continued and they did a CT scan and found polyps in her stomach. The surgeon didn't think it warented exploratory surgery. After my parents fought him he finally did the surgery. He opened her up and saw cancer everywhere, he took fluids out and closed her up.(I hate that man) Nanci and I flew down to her the next day. They did not address her pain and sent her home. We brought her back and made them address her pain. While in the hospital they told us our Momma had end stage Ovarian cancer and it was terminal. Our Mom that we love so much was sick and dieing in front of us and there was nothing we could do. The same ovaries that gave us life was killing her now. So we did what we could, we waited on her hand and foot. We spent every waking moment with her. We slept next to her at night. We watched the Drs and nurses every move and made sure she was as comfortable as possible. Too weak to fight, too weak for treatment, too fast for any of us to help it spread to her brain fluids. She was no longer our Mom. Unable to communicate or swallow. We demanded that she was kept comfortable and when all options had be exhausted we took her home. She was constantly surrounded by people who loved her. Who sang to her, held her hand, brushed her hair, fanned her to keep her cool, spoke to her. We said good bye 5 days after we brought her home. 20 days from the day we found out she had cancer. Not a moment goes by that I don't think of her, miss her, want her back. I was blessed with the most wonderful mother. I cherish every memory I have of her, every picture she is in. I miss her so badly.